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Double sexual standards among the sexes

by William T. Robinson, Jr
William T. Robinson, Jr.

Probably one of the most controversial topics to discuss besides politics and religion is sex. While many people feel uncomfortable discussing the subject, it is one of the undeniable natural staples of life and demands discussion. Inability or refusal to understand the complexities surrounding sex can result in total confusion, hurt, and chaos—resulting in unnecessary consequences. 

Sex is an unavoidable subject and warrants the respect of the listener. As we become older (especially as we enter adolescence), our bodies manifest hormonal and physical changes solidifying individuals as male or female. In light of today’s changing attitudes and practices, we find a growing number of individuals defining how they sexually want to be identified. Male and female genders now seem to be open to nuances, or open to interpretation (LBGTQ).

However, this particular article refers to the ‘battle of the sexes’ between those who identify as male or female and the different socially acceptable sexual standards applied to each. This is a highly incendiary topic causing personal feelings to erupt. We all know and should agree that sexual interactions are basically a good and natural thing among responsible consenting adults. But adhering to forbearance [self control] should be paramount, especially among young adults. There can be lifelong consequences when exercised impetuously without giving the act much thought.

Sexual intercourse should be a private, well thought out and consensual act between two adults. One should be well versed in the consequences that can derive from unprotected sex. Sex can be likened to playing with TNT, resulting in STDs (sexually transmitted diseases), unwanted pregnancies, and fragile, hurt feelings.

In many religions, sexual intercourse is considered a spiritual bond between two married people consecrated and blessed by God. However, in today’s society, having sex is often as casual as shaking hands by some of it participants. Many people disagree and become upset when religious stipulations or boundaries are applied as to with whom and when to have sex. 

The responsibility of the sexual outcome should fall on the two parties (usually male or female). Whether right or wrong, men consider seducing multitudes of women as measures of their sexual prowess. It almost seems our society expects and heralds men who are promiscuous as a sign of a man’s masculinity. However, the same society frowns upon a woman bedding several men, labeling her as promiscuous. These females are often considered whores and considered ‘tainted goods.’ Women cannot do the same things men do when pursuing sexual partners. They risk losing respect and may be vilified and demonized. 

Yes, it is unfair and a double standard. But it’s a double standard that continues to be accepted in our society. Apparently, our male dominated society likes to look at desirable women worth marrying as virtuous, honorable females capable of the self control so many men lack. Many men don’t want to classify women by the same standards as themselves. They prefer women they consider feminine, loyal, and moral. Like it or not, many men are egotistical and want to believe they are with novice females who are inexperienced in the pleasures they, themselves, feel—perhaps wanting her to think they alone can bring such pleasure. Many men cannot deal with the thought of a permanent relationship with women just as sexually active as themselves. These men like to think they are special and not just the ‘pick of the draw’ for some promiscuous woman, even if they thought the sex was awesome.

Male’s and female’s perspectives on relationships often vary drastically. Like it or not, most men do not see things as women. In the long run, women who are viewed as promiscuous are not considered by most men as suitable for serious girlfriends or wives. Sadly, as it stands now, our society seems to applaud promiscuous men and even encourages this behavior as masculine.

Good luck to women who think they can change this attitude. But the truth is they only seem to dig a deeper hole when they retaliate. Unfortunately, men don’t always think, feel or see things the same as women. It is unlikely that sexual equality is an argument that women are apt to win any time soon. Of course, this article is ‘the truth’ as told from a man’s perspective. There are going to be some women who disagree, because the truth can hurt.

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